12 posts tagged “theater”
It's going to be a long day. But things can only get better. At least that's what I am hoping. It really doesn't have much farther down to go from here anyway. Here I sit, typing and being talked at by Squall. Silly little mush.
Tuesday. Went to work as per usual but feeling sullen. The specter of losing Bear was hanging over my head rather heavily. Sitting in the truck, waiting for work, Papa stopped by with the EMR truck. He had news. The matriarch of a family we've been friends with for a long time has been diagnosed as having a brain tumor behind her right eye and it's pushing against her brain. Now, I've got a mixed basket of feelings on this. I want her to get better, don't think I don't. It's just hard to get warm and fuzzy about a woman who gives me harsh looks whenever she sees me. Papa adores her and calls her mom so he's taking it very hard. She and her husband are convinced that it is a curse placed upon her by witches (known as brujas around here) that just happen to be the sisters of her husband. These are very, very, very religious folks and I can respect that. I won't tell them where I am in the theological tree because I don't want to cause any hardships... but. It's hard to listen to people talk about witches being horrible, evil people. I hate the stereotype with a passion and would spend the rest of my life trying to correct it if I could. Oh well. I went to a local church called the Santuario de Chimayo. It's a beautiful place and has a remarkable history. I got some holy water and holy dirt for her and gave them to her a couple days ago.
He left and wasn't sure if he could get Bear into the vets office. I called and asked him, again, to make sure he took her in. Making Bear suffer was making me sick to my stomach. In time, we spoke and he assured me he would take her in. After lunch I cracked. I was in tears about Bear and quietly requested that I be able to leave when my father came to pick up the truck. I was allowed. Four o'clock came along and I had not heard anything nor seen him, so I called. He was all ready off the hill and on his way in. I expressed my disappointment and he agreed that he would wait for us at the clinic. I got my mother and we left as soon as Yvette was back from her break.
It was a heartbreaking experience. Walking in, I saw Papa holding a motionless Bear. As I walked up, he finally cracked and burst into tears. He apologized through the tears, stating that he thought he was strong enough. I hugged him and cried with him. A few moments later, the vet came out and lead us into a room. We all stood with Bear as she lay on her side upon the table.
I'm sorry, I find that even writing about it is making me cry write now. Maybe it's good that these things aren't timed. This is going to take me a while.
I held her head and stroked her. She remained wrapped in towels, hiding the fact that she had pretty much destroyed the outer side of the growth and her front was covered in blood and other... things. We all spoke to her, thanking her. It was quick. Painless. She moved a little bit when she was pricked by the main needle. She was gone very quickly. They left me alone with her. I cried with her and thanked her for being such an amazing dog. I prayed aloud, asking my patronesses to watch over her, guide her to the others. In time, Papa came back in. We cried and eventually walked away, leaving her there. They'll call him when the ashes are ready. I couldn't bury her here, this isn't home.
From there, we went home so that I could change. We then went to the Santuario, only yo find they were not open. Saying goodbye to the horse in the paddock beside the path, we left.
Wednesday. My day off. I had spent all night talking to Free so slept in. Thank you Free, it helped more than you know. I spent the day at home, resting, coughing. I went back up for the Starry Night rehearsal. We had a pretty good time though because we had a new light person to train on the cues, we couldn't goof off as much as we would have liked.
Thursday. Went to work. After about an hour and a half, I was called into the office by an overly cheerful Harold. When I got in, there was Finley and the owner. To make a long story short, they fired me. I have been accused of slander via hear-say and, of all things, this very journal. I know, now, how they found the journal. Fact is, they're probably going to read this. I don't care. I've never said anything that wasn't either fact or items spoken as my opinion. They also sited the fact that I read books and write when I am without a customer. There are no rules against this, especially as I had the reputation amongst customers as being their best cashier. Leaving the office, I was laughing and commented that perhaps it was only coincidence that I'd been reading Animal Farm and 1984. I don't think they got it. Not that I'd think they would.
I returned an hour later to request all the paperwork involving my dismissal and was told by Harold that there was no paperwork nor would my signature be required. I nodded and stated that I would be back for the paperwork. I left. I spent the day wandering and getting a few items from a shop downtown. Was given the number of a gentleman at the labor board.
Friday. Woke up and went down to Santa Fe to pick up some honey to tide the hives over. From there, had breakfast at IHOP. It was okay but nothing to write home about. Stopped by Jackalope and saw the prarie dogs. Needed to stop anyway because my stomach was raging at me like some wild thing. Called the man at the labor board and left a message. Went back to the Santuario. Got holy dirt and holy water. Got home, showered and went to the theater.
Saturday. Had a nice quiet day. Spent time with Papa. Did things around the house. Had breakfast with Papa and ended up selling lots and lots of honey. Good grief that man could be a car salesman. Went to the theater and did our closing night. Went to the after-party and had a great time! Stayed a little past midnight, leaving with an upset Papa. He was fine later though.
Sunday. Relaxed. Cleaned. Bottled Honey. Left U.F.F.D.U.H. because of scheduling conflicts and stress. Was going to go to Albq with Papa to see a group of old friends from the Navy but he went by himself. So I did housework and finally got things done that have been left undone for far too long. Went to the shelter to get a feel for how I'm going to be able to handle a new dog. I must admit, I saw a malamute mix there that I really like. She was sweet. I may call back today and see if she's up for adoption yet. Purchased my tickets for my Texas trip. Yay! I'll be gone from the 17th until the 24th. Yay!
And today? I'm going to finish this, shower, get dressed and get out the door. The man from the labor board called. It sounds like he can help so I'm heading down to Santa Fe to meet with him. So... yeah... that's it. What a week!
Anathema
[Radio Edit]: I almost forgot! I was going to share this:
I know I should have written quite a while ago. I know. I know. To be honest, I've just felt too antsy to just sit here and type. There's been a lot going on and it's been a packed week. I'll try to go day by day.
Monday. Went to the emergency room at the Los Alamos hospital. I was having massive breathing problems. Couldn't take a normal breath without coughing. It was only getting worse. So. Checked in at seven forty that morning. They got me in immediately. I went through a battery of tests and other crap.
At first I was given a breath test. It was low, so they listened to my breathing. Then they took E.K.G. reading. This happened twice because the doctor thought the first reading was a mistake. It was not. The nurse came in and gave me Tylenol 3 with codeine when that was over. I was then given a nebulizer to help me breath. That was a strange sensation and made me feel cold all over. When it was done, they gave me another breath test. This one was scary-low. My heart rate was still high so after they gave me some chest xrays (while still on the hospital bed), they put on a monitoring machine so they could watch my heart rate. It was hitting the triple digits - 121 at it's top - so I was made to just lay there and even sleep if I needed to. The doctor came in and was still worried about my heart so she said that we would get a CAT scan done if they couldn't figure out why it was so high. But first they would take blood to see if that was really even needed. After what seemed like forever, they came back and said my blood was okay. This made me feel a little better as I'd been panicking. I know it's irrational but I always freak out about blood tests since the rape. They let me rest and when my heart rate back into the nineties, they let me go. Just so you know, my heart right is normally in the high fifties. I was diagnosed with bronchitis but was told that since I caught the signs early, I wouldn't have a problem. I got a prescription for Tylenol 3 with codeine, an albuterol inhaler and a three day treatment of antibiotics. It was eleven ten. Went home and slept through most the day, outside of my phone calls with Free.
Tuesday. Did not go to work. Stayed home. Used inhaler on two different occasions when I found that I could not breath. Went batty just sitting in the house. Fed Bear. Played games. Called in to work to let Harold know what was going on. He was an ass and demanded that I bring in a note from my doctor saying I was healthy when I came back on Thursday. Upon telling him that I had gone to the ER and getting a note would be impossible he said that I still had to get one and promptly hung up. Bastard. Stayed up late talking to Free as Tuesday nights are our 'date' nights.
Wednesday. That was my normal day off. Continued to stick around the house. Didn't go to rehearsal as I didn't want to get anyone ill and really wasn't feeling up to it anyway. Woke with a screaming, stomach churning headache. This went away in time but only in the late afternoon. Went to Santa Fe with Papa in the early evening to get new cell phones for the both of us. Much to my chagrin we did a two for one deal. I may go back for the phone I want later. At the moment it is an LG VX8300. It's okay but I'm not a fan of LG. He went to class while I finished the deal. We also picked up blue tooth headsets for each of us. I went to Starbucks to wait for him and in the process, my head started to throb again. On the way home it was so bad that we had to pull over because I felt as though I would throw up. I'd never had a migraine so bad in my life.
Thursday. Went to work. Didn't feel as good as I should have. It was an uneventful day all in all. Harold never said a thing to me about the doctors. It's just as well, he had no grounds to be such a shit about it on Tuesday and I think he knew it.
Friday. Work. Yes, isn't my life exciting? Still didn't feel good. Molly almost had something thrown at her by me. I stated that I liked the cold and she said "Well, I didn't mind the cold either when I was overweight." Bitch. Overweight, my ass. I'm still in better shape than her. Ggggrrrrr. Had a performance so I went straight from work to the theater. Had a problem backstage. Used the inhaler because I like to breath. Big mistake, my heart rate started to soar. After the performance, Manny grabbed my arm, walked me off stage and straight to my father. He insisted I go home and rest. I did just that outside of a brief phone call in the early am from Free.
Saturday. Felt a little better. Went to work. Wanted to beat the ever-loving shit out of Molly for her rude comments. Explained situation to both Yuri and Yvette later. Went to the theater. Backstage I was introduced to Evie's son. Oh. My. Gods. The man is gorgeous! Just because of that, I almost stayed for the after-party. I couldn't stay. Damn. Oh well. The performance went well outside of a couple minor glitches. Went home and called it a night.
Sunday. Slept in. Tried to anyway. My father came in, woke me up and announced that Bear wasn't eating, wasn't walking well and we could assume that she wouldn't last. Great. What a way to wake up. Needless to say, I spent most of my day crying. Even thinking about this is making my eyes water. I've made a decision though: Bear will be going in this week. Papa will be taking care of the details because I know I cannot. But I cannot allow her to continue suffering. Thankfully I am talking to Free while I'm typing so it's really helping me. I went to Blockbuster and picked up a few movies - Aeon Flux, Superman Returns & Man of the Year. Also went to Wal-hell. Ick.
So... I'm going to go curl up in bed and continue talking to Free. My stomach is churning but that's to be expected, though Free is really helping me feel better by taking my mind off of the Bear issue. Goodnight kids!
Anathema
Hey kids!
I think I've got everything I need for the Farmington trip. I hope I do anyway. I won't be taking the laptop with me but that's okay. I've set up an audio blog to keep everyone up to date while I am gone. So, starting tomorrow and until my return, go here to listen: http://hierophantria.livejournal.com/ The program plays better with LJ, that's why it's there.
Anathema
Opening night went beautifully! I couldn't be any happier about it. Well, a larger audience would have been nice but seeing as how it was the "closing" night of Annie Get Your Gun, none of us expected a large crowd. To make matters worse, after we had made it known that our matinee was to be this Sunday at two... they announced they would be holding a matinee the same day but starting at one. Bastards. Los Alamos Light Opera is run by bastards. Ahem.
Anyway... Everything went very well. Our time was perfect for competition and that's even with a couple flubs that we'll work out before next week. Yay! One problem though. My character shoes are too small. I need to go order some other that fit properly. I am giving these to anyone at the theater that can wear them. No reason to waste good shoes. They were only about thirty nine plus shipping. I'll have these new ones sent express or such. I need to make sure I have them before Farmington.
What else? Oh.. I managed to slice myself with a putty knife yesterday while trying to get the soles on the shoes. The cut still bleeds. Damn it. Oh! And Free, darling, thank you for the call last night. That really meant a lot. You're just so full of surprises.
Off I go to get some lunch and evade my stalker. *twitch*
Anathema
Just peeking in to say hi. Wow, there is a lot going on!
Got up at five thirty. Go dressed, got things ready. Flat-ironed hair (yay!) and got out the door. Almost killed my father when he pulled a stupid traffic stunt.
Molly is a work. She has yet to talk to a dietician so she has no clue how to handle the fact that her blood sugar levels now need to be yielded to. She went from a fifty eight to a four hundred in a matter of two hours. Not good. Maybe this will calm her down. I can only hope.
My shoes... well... the shoe goo did not work so my soles are not attached. I tried some other stuff at work but to no avail. Crud. I will look and see if I can get any ideas from the net on what to do. Otherwise I'll have to wait to get the soles on properly.
I like my horoscope today but I like Free's even better. Go read them here: http://www.beliefnet.com/dailyhoroscope/223907.htm
What else? Nothing really. All else is going well. I'm nervous about tonight. Very. So... I'm going to go get some lunch, get some tickets and get back to work. Eeeek! Bye kids!
Anathema
By the by... Quin, sorry I laughed at your post. It was mean... but... it was funny! *snerk* And Free, darling, I will try to call you tonight for just a moment. I love you!
I think I shall take the advice of my horoscope today. It said that I should express my joy and more specifically "figure out a way to bring the missing pleasure back into your life." I need to do that. I've been focusing too much on the matters that have been frustrating me and not nearly enough attention to the things that make me happy. And considering I spend more time smiling than not, it stands as proof that I am pretty happy. I need to express that better than I have been. I'm sorry my darling Free, that you haven't seen me as happy as I have been. I'm sorry Quin (yeah, keep laughing you smartass) that I've not been on very often, especially after saying I wasn't going to do that. I'm sorry to all my friends at MT that I've been a little snippy as of late.
Now! What good things have been happening? I'll go from one end of my life to another.
Work. It turns out that Molly is in the hospital. Her mother has called for the past two days to let the managers know that she'd be gone. She has explained that Molly's blood sugar levels are dangerously high and they cannot get them to fall. So, I will eat crow and admit that I was wrong in stating that she probably wasn't diabetic. However... I hope that, if she gets through it, this will get her to start paying attention to what she eats and gets her to cut back on all the sugar she eats. It's got to be a pretty scary thing to be going through. I may not like her but I hope she will be all right soon.
Everything else is going well at work. I've got couple guys that have started to come in a flirt with me so I admit it's rather nice. One is a taller scruffy looking guy that's probably in his mid to late twenties. He's been doing lots of house work and it shows in his pain doused clothing. The second is a guy who reminds me, in appearance, of Quin. He comes and talks to me when he comes in. I'm not really thinking of anything past these mild flirtations but it's fun.
Theater. Opening night for the one acts is tomorrow. I'm very nervous but hopeful that all will go well. My character shoes came in today and this evening my father helped me out by gluing the soft soles onto the bottoms. I know that sounds strange but they're optional on character shoes because one can also gets taps and have tap shoes as well. They should be all set by tomorrow. I've got a flesh-tone bra so that is no longer a problem. I also picked up a black blouse of the style I has originally chosen I think it will do much better under the lights. The sandbags are done for now. I need to sew them shut but the ties will hold for now. I need a night free of theater stuffs.
And now for the good part or at least the best part. My Free. I wish I could explain to everyone how happy I've been, how happy I am. Sure, there was a rough patch but I really needed to get my head on straight about a few things and talk a few things through. It's truly made our relationship much stronger. We talk when we can and that makes me happy. I know he's trying his hardest to show me that he loves me and I know he does. He's given me a reason to hope. To hope that I do stand a chance of someday, having everything I want; that I know I'm not crazy for wanting the life I want. I think of him and my heart sings. This is my joy. To love some one for who they are and to be loved for who I am. It doesn't get any better.
Okay, my eyes are watering up. I'm going to go get things set for tomorrow. It's going to be a long day. I leave home at six fifteen. I'll be at work from nine to six. From there I will be at the theater. Show starts at eight fifteen. The first show is an hour or so. Then it will be Starry Night. Goodnight all!
Anathema
Hey kids! Hope no one missed me too much. Yeah, I know. I can hear the crickets chirping. Nothing much has been going on. Just surreal thoughts of my life, theater stuff, work and... wow. That's sad. I really don't have a life.
Work. Work is going well all in all. Lee is supposed to be leaving tomorrow or Thursday. Molly has left a horrid impression upon him. Olivia is back and is working the floor. She seems to be in a much better frame of mind than she had been but it's early yet. Oh... and the local male high school customers seem to think it's okay to flirt with me. Mrph. Little pains.
Theater. Kris is better. Yay! So I will only be the acting assistant. The downside is that while everyone comes to me for information and everyone knows I am her assistant... there will be no note of that made in the information that the audience gets to see. Oh well. I will be working on sandbags tomorrow for the set. Yay? Our first performance is this Friday. And I just realized that we have a matinee at two on Saturday. Oops, I'll need to get out of work at one. Earlier perhaps. I'll talk to TJ and see what he thinks.
I will be leaving next Thursday (the fifteenth) with Manny to go to Farmington for ACCTFest. Otherwise it'd be a morning drive the next day and neither of us are morning people. Manny's a sweetheart so I don't mind going up with him. I will be bringing the laptop so I will still be in touch with everyone. Oh, there I go showing my geekiness again.
What else? Talking to Free almost every day, even if it's brief, it's rather nice. Though for some reason the days have been moving slower, which makes the periods between hearing his voice stretch out for ages. I've never felt that before and I don't know what to make of it. Speaking of which, tonight is our usual 'date' night but he's working until at least midnight his time. Sooo, I'm going to go nap for a few minutes. Oh yes, and you read that right. He got a job. At an adult shop. Hehe, how amusing.
Before I go, I want to share a link. I'm sure I've mentioned my father dancing before so here are the photos from Saturday's New Comers Show. He's in the first batch of these solo photos. He's the handsome guy in the tux with tails and red vest. I'm so proud of him. The woman he's dancing with is his former instructor, Calie. Her husband is a professional photographer, thus all the photos of her.
G'night all!
Anathema
Well, things are going as well as can be expected with the desktop. I've installed all of the basics and all of the things I have disks for aside from Photoshop. I can do that later. The external drive and burner are both set and linked, the network is up and running and so all should be back to normal soon. The next step will be to see if I can get something to block access to the sites he was getting the bugs from. Oh! I nearly forgot; I got a new wireless router and a card for the laptop so there shouldn't be any more tie-ups around here about people wanting to get online. That and I will be taking the laptop with me to ACCTFest in a couple weeks so I wanted to make sure I had access one way or another.
Hm, what else? Work was work. I finally cleaned all my jewlery so my pentacle and the rest of my silver are nice and shiny once more. I need to work on my notes for Starry Night as it looks like I may become the default stage manager. Kris, the real stage manager, is very ill so I need to be prepared. Hell Sunday is this week. Eek!
I must admit, I've been worried about Free. His dad died in the hospital a few days ago, on my poor love's birthday actually. I know he didn't have a relationship with him but maybe that's why I'm concerned for him. But then again, I'm always worried about him over one thing or another so I guess this isn't really anything new. Other than worrying for him, nothing has changed recently really. A letter he wrote the other day really got my attention so I've been modifying much of my own behavior and my communication. I think it will help matters in the long run and that's very important to me.
And... that's it. I'm trying to work on this diet of mine and I think I'm doing okay. The next person to offer me sweets, however, may die. I need to hop in the shower so I will be ready for the early morning, so goodnight kids! Be good while I'm away.
Anathema
[Radio Edit]: It works! Mwahahaha! I can now roam through the house and be uber comfortable. The only down side is that I cannot fix this system's sound problem. I need to talk my father into taking it back to work and getting it foxed by their techie as he had admin controls on this.
Well kids, I have fifteen minutes to write this out unless I manage to cheat and sign up for the following session. I won't hold my breath. I'm Los Alamos for Starry Night rehearsals tonight. I'm looking forward to it, the pulled muscle from Sunday night was a wake up call that I need to get back into shape. I'm not overweight - if only by five or ten pounds, oh well - just out of shape. I wouldn't mind joining Curves but I don't like what's being done with the money made by the company. I may look into getting some work out equipment for home, free weights if nothing else. Or something to help me actually get a tummy I like, such as a flat one. Yes, Free, I can hear you from here. I promise.
What else? I stayed up last night and talked until insane hours with Free. I got nothing done this morning as I slept through it but that's okay, it was worth it. Staying up with him is always worth it. My mind has been swirling around some of the things we spoke about last week and I feel as though I can do nothing but smile. I feel as though I won't have to give up on some things that I had, at one time, wanted. I feel as though I may have been given a chance to have what I want and I'm happy for that because I always felt that following my heart would be worth it in the end. It's going to be. It's all theoretical and that's what makes me even happier. I tend to freak out when people start planning things as "musts" that far ahead. Life just doesn't work like that. Things like that have lead to only heartache and I don't ever want to see him sad again. I never want to hear him cry ever again, it's the most heart breaking thing I have ever heard. I want to treasure him as much as I know how and for as long as he will allow me to. He always calls me his "Sweet One" but I always feel as though I could never be sweet enough, compassionate enough, there enough. I love him and I love him for all that he is, all that he has been all that he can be and all that he ever will be. Every day I wake up more amazed. I love you my sweet darling Free.
What else? Because I'm trying not to get emotional here at the library. I have seven minutes left. After that I am going to go to Starbucks or maybe go find some dinner. I may walk by the Japanese place here in town and see what time they start serving dinner. Sushi sounds kinda tasty right now. So does tempura. Mmmm. And there I was, a moment ago, talking about getting into shape. Well, I do eat right, really. I eat balanced meals, I swear. And if they're not open in enough time I'll have to rethink my ideas. I've got a notebook, news paper, MP3 player and The Plauge so that should be enough to keep me entertained. I hope. From there, rehearsal is at seven. I will be busy back stage, making sure of how things are going to be set out and what all I will be doing. It sounds like I will be doing a lot of light work too so that's pretty damn nifty. Yay for geekiness that knows no bounds! Mwahahahaha!
Gaaaah! My stalker. Okay, so he's not really my stalker but the man freaks me out. He's been following me for about six years now. When I was dating Rowan, he sent me a rose for Valentine's Day. He's... got some developmental issues. (Yay for tact!)
Okay, my time is about to run out. Goodnight kids! If anything comes up, I will write when I get home.
Anathema.
What was it that Alice said after she fell down the rabbit hole? Curiouser and curiouser. And that's just about where I'm at. My past just won't piss off, damn it all. Z has come back to haunt me. Thrilling. I had heard a rumor a while ago that he was working at Starbucks but as I hadn't seen hide nor hair of him I didn't give it a second thought. Well, as I was waiting for my father to pick me up this evening and while talking to Free over the phone I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye. It looked as though he had a moment of "wtf" as well. My phone was running out so I said goodbye to Free and continued reading my book.
He never came over but he'd occasionally glance over at me, still looking surprised. My stomach started aching and I couldn't tell if it was from hunger, a triple mocha on an empty stomach or seeing him for the first time in over two years. He really left a lot of pain in his wake. The bastard. I know, I know. This is just enough detail to demand a back story isn't it? Damn it. Perhaps later. I'm going to finish this entry and go work on a story that I wrote after saying my final good bye to Z all those years ago. I think I may want to find a way to publish it somewhere.
The rest of the day was... okay. Had a fight with my father this afternoon over his temper and his problems handling anger and stress. We've talked through it and I've brought up the idea of stress/anger management. I don't know if it will go anywhere but it needed to be brought up. He called me while I was waiting at Starbucks and he apologized. He scared the hell out of me though when he said that "something" had happened. I almost went into panic mode three. I hate it when he does that. He told me how he saw a homeless man fall on the street. He pulled over and got the man to the Burger King near by. He bought him food and coffee, made sure he was okay and went to his class. He was truly shaken up.
Rehearsal was... pointless. We went over some songs and to be honest... they're awful. The women that wrote them.. geeze.. I want to smack them both. It's horrid! The lady trying to teach us the songs was useless. No matter how awful we sounded she would say "That was great! You're really getting it!" Gah!
This evening has proven most cathartic. I needed it. Though tears are heavy on my eyes and have stained my cheeks like little rivers... I feel better than I have in a long time. Thank you Free.
Anathema
